What I’m Doing…and stuff…

I’ve been out of the blog world a bit these days. It’s been unintentional…I just feel like I haven’t really had that much to say. I’m in a weird place–strangely.  I don’t know what to say about it actually. So here’s life right now–in some small dim snapshot.

Bummers

* Impending financial ruin

* The continued recognition of the END of a community that I spent a decade pouring my energies into creating and continuing.      The exhausting realization that many of the people who I dedicated much of my life to, will simply not remember me fondly–and God THAT HURTS.

*Needing faith for the same reason that it’s hard to find (thanks for the words JR)

*watching things that should inspire and give hope–current religious movements etc–follow the same pattern as other movements…and not being surprised or even disappointed–but still wondering if there is anything that transcends humanities arching cycles.

*Bored out of my mind in my current job in a job market that is “in a midlife crisis” (but thankful to have a job)

*bla bla blah…

Huzzah’s

* Reinvention possibilities–it looks like we may very well be moving to Portland, SE, to be closer to many of our great friends who have serendipitously cropped up within the last year.

*Helping organize and then even performing again at HOMESPUN SUMMER CONCERTS, together with friends

*The little network of stragglers, adventing adventurers, refugees who have somehow gathered…not towards any specific end–but rather locked in a mutual recognition of the places that we have been and where we are, this is truly refreshing.

*Our vegetable garden

*Rediscovering music, my passion for writing and performing it.

*Seeing myself for myself and being ok with who that is–in my worst…i don’t know if i’ve ever been quite so honest with myself or quite so accepting.

*Enjoying our two wonderful boys Ransom and Judah.

*Pursuing my Master’s degree in something related to systemic thinking, strategic foresight, community development and organizational psychology.

*Discovering music that I never had but probably should have…such as Josh Ritter:

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5 Responses

  1. Can relate to a lot especially this one
    “The continued recognition of the END of a community that I spent a decade pouring my energies into creating and continuing. The exhausting realization that many of the people who I dedicated much of my life to, will simply not remember me fondly–and God THAT HURTS.”

    Still not sure how to own up to that though. Can I just accept that it was all my fault and walk away? I battle to express myself in LIVE english, it is easier to write :-) and even then I suck. It hurts, it really hurts, what hurts most is not seeing it being recovered.

    I thought the other day that somehow I feel a bit “Matrix-like” about it. As if I ended up for 7 years in a place other than all and that in some way I wish I was just sitting in a pew for that whole time and never knew and never saw what I did, not that I regret any ot fit, but that is HURTS so much.

    Oh, and the financial ruin…it work out fine :-).

  2. thank you Christo. i know how you feel–and thank you for knowing how i feel as well.

  3. Thanks for your honesty here. It’s good to see a balance of good and bad. That’s realistic, and I think that’s where Jesus must be if we say He is with us at all.

  4. Won’t you please, won’t you please.. Please won’t you be, my neighbor?

    • it would be my deep honor….

      seriously though–be on the lookout for spaces. 2-3 br bungalow’s–sunnyside, clinton, tabor, s. tabor…. those are our preferences… PEACE yo.

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