Half Awake

Sometimes I catch glimpses of reality…spots of vision like peeping out of cut out holes in a thick quilt.  I hear the Voice. I feel the Music.  And then…then…it slips away.

The Inward Journey–intimacy and union  with Christ…participation NOT imitation…in my hands, tightly grasped…and now…now…what does it all mean?

The Kingdom–God’s rule and reign here and now but also hereafter and not yet…I understand it, I live it, it’s real…and still…how real is it to me?

The Church–ekklessia, the called out and called into, the Bride of Christ experiencing the fullness of Her love, people not programs…but maybe…maybe…

Well, and I guess this is just to say that everything I know–I don’t…they are precious and precariously positioned on the shelf of my fragile being.  A jolt, a bump, can tumble them down and send those “knowables” onto the dingy carpet of doubt.

And that’s not what this is about, doubt.  I’m not saying that…

I’m saying, certainty has left me uncertain and I just want him…wonderfully tender him…the only one who understands…as many times as the world turns upside down I keep falling on to him.

I’m lost, but lost in Him.

Half awake, opening eyes, seeing dimly as though in a mirror, but then face to face, knowing as I am known…the hope that is not yet…the glory of that which is yet to come.

Lord, quickly come.